


【T】【R】【E】【E】【S】

by Zellamonster



Series: commentary crew oneshots [3]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with no happy ending, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Suicide, Therapy, i hate myself for writing this, will is also deaf btw, will is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-27
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2020-07-23 03:37:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20001706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zellamonster/pseuds/Zellamonster
Summary: dear george,Feel as though this should’ve came sooner. The letter I mean. I reckon you’d be upset if you knew I didn’t write to you first. There’s a good reason, of course. You already know that.





	【T】【R】【E】【E】【S】

my therapist is sitting there, looking at me with a look in her eyes. as much as i don’t want to admit it, i know that look is pity.

i take my regular seat in front of her, sitting there visibly uncomfortable. i’m always uncomfortable in this tiny little office. 

“hello will.” she says slowly. the smile on her face is fake and it makes me want to gag. 

‘hey’ i sign. 

she cuts straight to the chase and grabs a piece of paper and pencil. my eyes began to water but i wipe the tears away before they even have a chance to fall. i knew she was going to do this. why did i still come though? 

because deep down it kind of works. some part of me hates to admit that writing stupid little letters to those who have either hurt me, or i’ve hurt, helps. 

“will, who is the note for this time?” 

‘george.’ 

i see her face visibly cringe slightly, before she can even stop herself. 

out of all the people i’ve written about, he’s never been one of them. 

without looking back up, i grab the pencil and began writing. 

_⋆_

_dear george,_

_Feel as though this should’ve came sooner. The letter I mean. I reckon you’d be upset if you knew I didn’t write to you first. There’s a good reason, of course. You already know that._

_I love you._

_I want to hold you. To take you out on dates or even stay home and play Fifa. I’d do anything with you. Sometimes I wish I could talk, just to tell you how much I love you._

_ Do you know? You  must’ve figured it out, right? how could it not be obvious, how much i’m in love with you.  _

_I don’t think I’d be surprised to find out you didn’t know. You were so focused on hating yourself, thinking nobody loved you. You didn’t see that I love you._

_Fuck. I wish I could make you feel better. Why are you so sad? George, who made you feel this way? I want to help. I should’ve._

_If only I could speak. I would’ve talked you out of it. Maybe I could’ve stopped you._

_But I didn’t._

_And now you’re dead._

_I just wish I could’ve said I love you out loud._

⋆

i’m crying. i didn’t notice until i realised the tears were bleeding through the paper. when did i start crying? 

i look up to my therapist, seeing the concerned expression on her face. this is my first time crying in front of her. 

before i even knew it, i’m covering my face and sobbing. this is the first time i’ve cried over him. suddenly i feel her hand on my back and i flinch. i look up to her, still crying a little. 

“did he hurt himself?” she says slowly, probably afraid i’ll break down again if she ask me if he killed himself. 

my hands are shaking as i reply back. 

‘yes, and i think i’m going to as well. and i don’t think you can stop me.’ 


End file.
